Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Last Day At Office

Office gets awesome in the notice period.  Nobody expects you to do anything and you are all on your own.  You come late, you do nothing (productive) all day, you leave early.  Offices should be like this all the time. 

Last day of last year was a last day for me in another aspect as well: it was the last day at my last job. And I had to do a lot of last hour things including (but not limited to) getting my experience letter written and signed (I didn’t really like the one the company was giving away), handing over office stuff to others, writing a last-day good-bye email to colleagues, emptying my drawer (more like transferring stuff from the drawer to the dustbin, where it originally belonged), deciding whom to give my office slippers away to (this was a tough call) and have a big and emotional photo-session with colleagues (I am obsessed with portrait photography lately).

I had anticipated that my last day would be pretty hectic and I won’t be able to do all that was needed to be done so I sought help from YBA (a good friend and an ex-colleague from the same office).  Here is how it went with him:

Me:  Dude, it'll be my last day tomorrow and I am so gonna be swamped. Please do me a favor and write a last day at office mail for me. 
Him: Wow. Is this the height of delegation? 
Me:  It sure is. 
Him: I can give you mine. And that's it, Mister. :P 
Me:  Please do it, Man.  I already have yours.  If I send that on, people are gonna recognize it as yours as it hasn't been long since you left. 
Him: Well, mine was a darn creative one. Wouldn’t you say? 
Me:  It sure was.  And I expect mine to be at the same level.  If not higher.  You know how popular I am.  :P 
Him: :D 
Him: Ok, how about this: 
Him: Dear Losers, In your face! Bye, JDee 
Me:  Awesome! :D 
Me:  But I have had some good days there.  And I still have to collect my PF.  :( 
Him: Yah! 
Me:  Chalo, thanks in advance. :) 
Him: About what? 
Me:  About the last day at office email.  You are writing that for me, no? 
Him: Wasn't this one good enough? You want me to spice it up? Like mentioning a few secrets and all. Maybe, your real feelings about Sheikh Sahib and that new girl?  :P 
Me:  I want you to tone it down.  I still have to collect my PF.  And don’t you tell anybody about Sheikh Sahib or that new girl. 
Him: OK, you boring person. 
Me:  Just write one for me. I so can’t take time out for this. 
Him: Dude, are you serious? 
Me:  I am.  Indeed. 
Him: I cant, Man. I cant write one which you can send out to everyone. But i can write the spiced up one though. I have already started jotting down points. For the cool version, of course. :P 
Me:  OK, what the heck. Spice it up. I'll tone it down myself. Or will send it ahead if it's worth it. ;) 
Him: Dude, I'm telling you. You wont be able to share it in public. 
Me:  We'll see. 
Him: OK. You asked for it. Don't blame me afterwards. :P 
Me:  The gang at office will have a good laugh in the worst case. 
Him: OK, look for that in your email tomorrow. 
Me:  Thanks.

I got revealed that one thing got out of the way (only to be worried later). 

The day didn’t start usual.

I had to get to a place for a 5-hour long initial screening test.  A 5-hour long initial screening test, would you believe it?  And if that wasn’t enough, they had scheduled it for 9 in the morning.  And if that wasn’t enough, they wanted me to improve a blank piece of paper at the end of those 5 hours of programming, SQL, analytical reasoning, mathematics, problem solving and a Big Mac (it took so long, they had to buy me lunch).  I haven’t heard from them since then.  The test went OK, though.

After the test I got to the office around 3 in the afternoon.  After emptying my drawer, handing over office stuff to others, I went out to everybody to say good-bye and test my portrait photography skills.  The light at the office was not sufficient so the pictures didn’t come out all that well. Let’s just skip that part.

I then opened up my email only to find out that YBA had written this for me:

Dear all,
It's my last day in office today so I will say what I have always wanted to say. In your face, you losers !!
As Bilbo Baggins once said, "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." So go figure.
I always thought that when I move on in life and achieve my goal of ultimate world domination, I will get all the people together in the world that I really like and then just keep them together so that no one would leave. Then I would not have to say good-bye.  I hate good-byes.
So until I become the supreme leader of the Earth: See ya'.
Sayo nara,
P.S. I am really thankful for my friend YBA who has been an inspiration for not just this email but all the good stuff I have done until now. Live long and prosper my friend.

As you might have guessed already, he had laid out a complete plan to ban my entry in my office after my last day departure. Of course, I couldn't have been this incorrect politically.  This is what I ended up sending out:

Dear all,
I always think that when I move on in life and achieve my goal of ultimate world domination, I will get all the people I really like together in the world and will then just keep them together so that no one ever leaves.  Then I would not have to say good-bye or let anyone go.  Unless of course, someone dies but that's another story all together.  The thing is that I just hate good-byes.
So stay in touch so that I remember to put you in my huddle you when I take over the world.
And until I become the supreme leader of the planet: See ya'.
Sayo nara,
P.S.: Thanks to a friend for helping me out with this.  I have been too swamped today to even write a last day email.

I don’t know why (maybe because I had written it out clearly in the P.S.) but close friends suspected I couldn’t have written this on my own and they said had I written one myself, the mail would have been a lot gloomier.  I kinda agree with them.

YBA later met me online again that day.  He asked me why I removed the best part from his ingenious work of art and creativity.  It told him I kept the best part.

My slippers were settled two days later when one of my friends lost his cool Nike snickers at Jumma prayers.  And I just got my experience letter today.

I hope I have learned a lesson now, not to be too attached with a workplace.  Because at the end of the day, it’s only business and nothing personal.



  1. dude be grateful ...:) though you left... but you are still here whenever we think about going out for lunch or some fun :P.. of course it's cuz of your car ;) but then again .. WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR :P

  2. Besides.. we are and will still be together... in future!

  3. Haha! Very interesting and funny! :)

    Only one question. Who is that new girl? :P

  4. hawwwww!!!! i wanted to write many things after reading this but tat will come as a personalized msg :P

  5. :-) i think i should calll u now :)

  6. it is not talking my comment :(

  7. @RD: It's sure is good to have friends like you. :)
    @Ali/@sheLina: There is no girl. This chat session was reclaimed from memory so nothing can be proved or held in court against me. :P

  8. @sheLina: Comments get visible after moderation. I got them all. Thanks a lot for those. :)

  9. Wow. That's one creative guy, YBA. You should have sent the email verbatim. The world domination bit was awesome.

    Anyway, you should be thankful for the Big Mac though. All I got was a Red Bull that cracked my eyes :P

    I agree that one should not get too attached to a workplace. But it’s not the place, it’s the people you get attached to and considering the few gems that I have encountered during my career I says it’s definitely worth it.

  10. @Cube: The world domination bit was awesome. That is why I kept it. :)

  11. okay okay this was some nice reading i had been to so far, ;) best of luck for the upcoming life is full of Adventures and surprises

  12. Offices, schools,universities, colleges all such places make u feel that this would be the end of the world if u ever departed, but Life makes u move ahead along with the changing seasons.

  13. @Naveed: Thanks :)
    @Nikki: Couldn't agree with you more.

  14. in this day and age when everyone is hanging on to their jobs for life, you left one and got another one. Some people have all the luck in the world.

  15. @Tazeen: If only you knew and if only I could tell. :)

  16. I liked the IN-YOUR-FACE tone of the email :D

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