Friday, January 30, 2009

WTH Moments

I have been having WTH moments regarding this blog lately.

Moment One

Location: Meeting room, a local technology company

Characters: JDèé (JD), Prospective Employer (PE) and their 23 other accomplices (A1, A2, …, A23)

All is going good. JD, PE, A1, A2, …, and A23 are discussing the highly complex nature of the assignment that is under consideration for JD when all of a sudden:

PE: Your blog says you are a geek!  Are you really?
JD: What?
[How on earth did they know about my blog!?!?!]
JD: AND IT SO DOES NOT.
PE: Well, it doesn't say that but it gives out such vibes that the writer is a geek.
JD: What?  OK.

WTH!?! :S

Moment Two

Location: JDèé’s email inbox

Characters: JDèé (JD) and someone who sent him an invitation to connect to LinkedIn (S).

JD,
I believe I've become a die-hard fan of your photography. Plus I read ur blog too! :) cheers
Since you are someone I trust, I want to add you to my profession network on LinkedIn.
S

I have die-hard fans.  WTH!?!  :D

Moment Three

Location: JDèé’s chat window

Characters: JDèé (JD), a friend (F) and friend’s friend from Timbuktu (FF).

FF to F: Your friend JD, he is cool.  I like his posts.  I think he is fun.
F to FF: What? You read him?
FF to F: Yes, I have been reading him.
F to JD: Dude, you are getting popular.  I have a friend from Timbuktu, they like your posts, think you are cool and fun.
JD to F: Cool!

WTH!?! :)

Moment Four

Location: JDèé’s chat window

Characters: JDèé (JD), a friend (F)

F: Dude, your blog is getting gay, SERIOUSLY!
JD: Lolz!  I wouldn’t say that I was surprised to hear this.  After all, gay was the only label left after geeky, fun, cool, pathetic, awesome and 39 others.
F: I am serious, Man. 
JD: Why on earth would you say that?
F: I'll try to explain once we meet.  If I could, that is.
JD: So now it's throwing out gay vibes that you can feel but not explain?
F: Exactly.

WTH!?! :@

I don’t know about the rest but I am pretty confident that my blog is neither geeky nor gay.  Help me out here guys.  What do you think?  Is this blog geeky, fun, cool, gay, what is it?

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Reactive Dynamite

Some RD commented on one of my blog posts a few days ago.  I thought it was MSAK.  I was right.  I had a chat session with him on the RD thing afterwards but let me first introduce MSAK to you.

You know once in a while you meet people that are awesome, stand out from the croud and completely attract attention wherever they go.  Well, you guessed it right.  He is NOT one of those guys.  

He is the guy who is the nicest of the bunch but is always bullied by everybody else becuase he never minds others doing it.  He is the guy that gathers attention but only because everybody wants to pull his leg hard and long.  He is the guy who has all the hidden skills in the world but everybody thinks is not good for anything worthwhile. 

Anyways, here is how it went.

Me: Who is RD.  Is it you?
MSAK: yup
MSAK: why ?
Me: No, just curious who posted those comments.
MSAK: RD is my old college nick... 
MSAK: my close friends call me that
Me: RD means?
MSAK: yaar, it doesn't match my personality but like Reactive Dynamite
Me: LOLZ! :D
MSAK: abay yaar 
MSAK: it was cuz of the spontaneous acts 
MSAK: be it the creation of Duster mafia in college and getting suspended for a month
MSAK: or movie maker for fun
MSAK: or a dare devil
Me: Excuse Me?  There was a Duster mafia?
MSAK: yeah
MSAK: :P
MSAK: never mind that
MSAK: it was again a childish thing :P
MSAK: but i got suspended for a month in college!
Me: Dude, tell me about it.
Me: Was it something like your rubber collecting thing?
MSAK: yaar 
MSAK: well you see
MSAK: i was in college
MSAK: and in our Boys wing
MSAK: we were always out of dusters 
MSAK: so like.. me and my friend once visited the girls wing after dismissal
MSAK: and like we were so surprised that each of their classes had at least 2 HOT SEXY dusters!
MSAK: some dusters were like... 
MSAK: a small BOAT with its base with a cloth!
Me: Lolz!
MSAK: so we formed a coalition and Duster Mafia came into being that day 
MSAK: bus after the dismissal time every day 
MSAK: we'd go to the girls wing
MSAK: and collect the dusters and write of their boards
MSAK: Duster Mafia (DM) strikes again!
Me: Lolz!
MSAK: yaar 
MSAK: we kept on doing that for 3 days
MSAK: after that few of the girls actually placed ABUSES
MSAK: and posted galiyaan (abuses) on their boards
MSAK: when the teachers came to their classes
MSAK: they held a enquiry... and our bags were checked
MSAK: and it had all kinds of dusters 
MSAK: and the only thing that wasn't in our bags was BOOKS!
MSAK: so we were sent to the principal 
Me: Lolz, Man! 
MSAK: they thought we wrote the abuses
Me: Can't stop laughing.
Me: :D
MSAK: but we didn't and no body believed :(
MSAK: and we got suspended for a month
MSAK: but :P
MSAK: that thing made so popular in college
Me: :D
Me: Awesome!

Later I found out that MSAK had a blog as well that hadn’t been updated since months.

Me: You had a blog?  That’s awesome.
Me: Why did you quit writing?
MSAK: it had a purpose dude
MSAK: :P
MSAK: and later ... i stopped it
MSAK: cuz i lost it's id
MSAK: lol
MSAK: i tried searching for it
MSAK: but couldn't find it
MSAK: then somebody referred me a link 
MSAK: of my own blog
MSAK: and i was like.. o wow.. found it
MSAK: i later started righting on other blog
MSAK: but i lost its id as well
Me: How can you lose ids?
MSAK: and the account with which it was registered
MSAK: i lost its password as well as its id
MSAK: :S
Me: What's with your weird statuses?
MSAK: :)
MSAK: yaar it's related to Gill
MSAK: she is the one who usually argues with me
MSAK: on statuses
Me: Her name is Gill?
MSAK: yup
Me: Dude, you never cease to amaze me, really.
Me: And this time, I mean it in a good way.
Me: I am impressed.
MSAK: :P
MSAK: that's the reason they called me RD back then!

And after reading a few posts on his blog, I got to know that he also played flute, made movies, had friends in Romania and had got one of his friend a cute little puppy.

Me: You got your friend a cute little puppy?
MSAK: abay nahih yaar (No, Man)
MSAK: yeh aik stupidity ho gayi thi (it was a stupid thing I did) 
MSAK: woh mazaaak mazaaak main dost ko bola thaa (I told my friend this as a joke)
MSAK: baad main he told her about it (he told Gill about it later)
MSAK: and i had to quickly rite a blog about it!
MSAK: :S
Me: Oh! You mean, PHIR aik stupidity ho gayi thi? (Oh!, you mean it was YET ANOTHER stupid thing you did)
MSAK: lolz
MSAK: yeah i know it was a stupid 
MSAK: and i still regret it dude
MSAK: abhi bhi kubhi baat nikalti hay (even now we talk about it sometimes)
MSAK: and i have to make a story about it!
MSAK: damn it!
Me: That's bad.
MSAK: yaar 
MSAK: please bhai don't mention this 
MSAK: puppy thingy
MSAK: anywhere yaar
Me: Well YBA referred me to this.
MSAK: WHAT
Me: You might also wanna bring him on board.
Me: He read your blog after seeing your comments on mine.
Me: And he asked me what this was about.
MSAK: oh my god!

YBA was hurriedly added to the conversation.

MSAK: YBA
MSAK: :) hi man
YBA: hallo
Me: A conversation with YBA and MSAK.
YBA: wie geht's?
Me: Now that has got to be something. :P
MSAK: :P
YBA: :P
MSAK: abay yaar  (Guys!)
YBA: yeah. strange gathering :D
MSAK: don't mention any one about the puppy thing in the blog
MSAK: bhai please (pretty please)
MSAK: it had a reason cuz of a very stupidity of mine
YBA: ur stupidity? 
YBA: MSAK. Do you ever fail to screw up?
MSAK: bussss yaar 
MSAK: mazaaak mazaaak main aik banday ko chori maari theee (I had said that as a joke to a guy)
MSAK: about this
MSAK: us nay jakay aik bandi ko bata deya (he went on and told that to a gal)
MSAK: and that bandi had the access to my blog (and that gal had access to my blog)
MSAK: and i had to just add it there urgently
MSAK: she thought it was true!
YBA: so. did u marry her?
MSAK: No. :(
YBA: hain abhee tak? (Not even yet?)
YBA: aisi post kai baad to koi bhee tayyar ho jayay gee :P(Any gal would marry you after a post like that :P)
MSAK: only you guys  know about this blog
Me: Well, people are gonna know about your blog now.
MSAK: and i forgot to remove my nick which had the link
MSAK: abay nahih yaar
Me: You have commented at mine and have revealed your identity.
Me: The traffic at my blog is only a little lesser than that on yahoo so you can guess. 
Me: :P
YBA: LOL
YBA: dont be modest, JDee
YBA: it’s as much as google
Me: Always good to have a friend that corrects you in times you are being modest.
Me: :P

Of course, MSAK removed all questionable posts from his blog later.  He is back in the blogging game now.  Check him out here.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Last Day At Office

Office gets awesome in the notice period.  Nobody expects you to do anything and you are all on your own.  You come late, you do nothing (productive) all day, you leave early.  Offices should be like this all the time. 

Last day of last year was a last day for me in another aspect as well: it was the last day at my last job. And I had to do a lot of last hour things including (but not limited to) getting my experience letter written and signed (I didn’t really like the one the company was giving away), handing over office stuff to others, writing a last-day good-bye email to colleagues, emptying my drawer (more like transferring stuff from the drawer to the dustbin, where it originally belonged), deciding whom to give my office slippers away to (this was a tough call) and have a big and emotional photo-session with colleagues (I am obsessed with portrait photography lately).

I had anticipated that my last day would be pretty hectic and I won’t be able to do all that was needed to be done so I sought help from YBA (a good friend and an ex-colleague from the same office).  Here is how it went with him:

Me:  Dude, it'll be my last day tomorrow and I am so gonna be swamped. Please do me a favor and write a last day at office mail for me. 
Him: Wow. Is this the height of delegation? 
Me:  It sure is. 
Him: I can give you mine. And that's it, Mister. :P 
Me:  Please do it, Man.  I already have yours.  If I send that on, people are gonna recognize it as yours as it hasn't been long since you left. 
Him: Well, mine was a darn creative one. Wouldn’t you say? 
Me:  It sure was.  And I expect mine to be at the same level.  If not higher.  You know how popular I am.  :P 
Him: :D 
Him: Ok, how about this: 
Him: Dear Losers, In your face! Bye, JDee 
Me:  Awesome! :D 
Me:  But I have had some good days there.  And I still have to collect my PF.  :( 
Him: Yah! 
Me:  Chalo, thanks in advance. :) 
Him: About what? 
Me:  About the last day at office email.  You are writing that for me, no? 
Him: Wasn't this one good enough? You want me to spice it up? Like mentioning a few secrets and all. Maybe, your real feelings about Sheikh Sahib and that new girl?  :P 
Me:  I want you to tone it down.  I still have to collect my PF.  And don’t you tell anybody about Sheikh Sahib or that new girl. 
Him: OK, you boring person. 
Me:  Just write one for me. I so can’t take time out for this. 
Him: Dude, are you serious? 
Me:  I am.  Indeed. 
Him: I cant, Man. I cant write one which you can send out to everyone. But i can write the spiced up one though. I have already started jotting down points. For the cool version, of course. :P 
Me:  OK, what the heck. Spice it up. I'll tone it down myself. Or will send it ahead if it's worth it. ;) 
Him: Dude, I'm telling you. You wont be able to share it in public. 
Me:  We'll see. 
Him: OK. You asked for it. Don't blame me afterwards. :P 
Me:  The gang at office will have a good laugh in the worst case. 
Him: OK, look for that in your email tomorrow. 
Me:  Thanks.

I got revealed that one thing got out of the way (only to be worried later). 

The day didn’t start usual.

I had to get to a place for a 5-hour long initial screening test.  A 5-hour long initial screening test, would you believe it?  And if that wasn’t enough, they had scheduled it for 9 in the morning.  And if that wasn’t enough, they wanted me to improve a blank piece of paper at the end of those 5 hours of programming, SQL, analytical reasoning, mathematics, problem solving and a Big Mac (it took so long, they had to buy me lunch).  I haven’t heard from them since then.  The test went OK, though.

After the test I got to the office around 3 in the afternoon.  After emptying my drawer, handing over office stuff to others, I went out to everybody to say good-bye and test my portrait photography skills.  The light at the office was not sufficient so the pictures didn’t come out all that well. Let’s just skip that part.

I then opened up my email only to find out that YBA had written this for me:

Dear all,
It's my last day in office today so I will say what I have always wanted to say. In your face, you losers !!
As Bilbo Baggins once said, "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." So go figure.
I always thought that when I move on in life and achieve my goal of ultimate world domination, I will get all the people together in the world that I really like and then just keep them together so that no one would leave. Then I would not have to say good-bye.  I hate good-byes.
So until I become the supreme leader of the Earth: See ya'.
Sayo nara,
JDee
P.S. I am really thankful for my friend YBA who has been an inspiration for not just this email but all the good stuff I have done until now. Live long and prosper my friend.

As you might have guessed already, he had laid out a complete plan to ban my entry in my office after my last day departure. Of course, I couldn't have been this incorrect politically.  This is what I ended up sending out:

Dear all,
I always think that when I move on in life and achieve my goal of ultimate world domination, I will get all the people I really like together in the world and will then just keep them together so that no one ever leaves.  Then I would not have to say good-bye or let anyone go.  Unless of course, someone dies but that's another story all together.  The thing is that I just hate good-byes.
So stay in touch so that I remember to put you in my huddle you when I take over the world.
And until I become the supreme leader of the planet: See ya'.
Sayo nara,
JDee
P.S.: Thanks to a friend for helping me out with this.  I have been too swamped today to even write a last day email.

I don’t know why (maybe because I had written it out clearly in the P.S.) but close friends suspected I couldn’t have written this on my own and they said had I written one myself, the mail would have been a lot gloomier.  I kinda agree with them.

YBA later met me online again that day.  He asked me why I removed the best part from his ingenious work of art and creativity.  It told him I kept the best part.

My slippers were settled two days later when one of my friends lost his cool Nike snickers at Jumma prayers.  And I just got my experience letter today.

I hope I have learned a lesson now, not to be too attached with a workplace.  Because at the end of the day, it’s only business and nothing personal.

Tada

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year

Has anybody seen Zong’s new year message?  It's hard to miss for like it's there on all channels all the time.  Strangely though, I have been trying to locate that video on Internet but haven’t been successful.  That’s the best message I could pass on this new year.  I’ll try to find that and update the post soon.

Until then, here is something to greet you all.

Seasons greetings and a very happy new year.  I hope this year be better for us and our country in all aspects than all our previous years combined.

Tada.

P.S. I know some of my friends don't believe in new year resolutions but mine is to be more organized in life this year, like planning things properly, going to bed early and starting the day earlier.  It’s 3 am at the moment and I have an early morning meeting tomorrow so you can guess how spot on I am with my ambitions already.